So it’s Sunday morning. We’ve arrived at the hour in which we are fed by the Word of God and the Bread of Life. In fact, at Mass we find everything else we’ve talked about: celebration, our community, our shared values, the call to serve others. This is what Catholics mean when they say Eucharist is the “source and summit” of Christian life.
“We rarely skip a Sunday Mass,” writes Annemarie Scobey. “I think going every Sunday—whether we feel like it or not, whether we have time or not—has taught our kids the importance of it. They never complain about going to church. They don’t consider that not going is an option.”
Sandria De Sapio says that attending Mass “sometimes meant being late for a soccer game or dance rehearsal, but it sent a clear message that worshiping together is a priority.”
To keep from portraying Mass as simply a duty, make it clear why you look forward to hearing the gospel, reflecting on your week and offering it to God, singing, praying, sharing with the other members of the Body of Christ. Mass can then be more of a “get to” than a “have to.” You can always sweeten the pot by scheduling fun after-Mass activities: a real Sabbath, with nature, friends, family, recreation.
Try asking your kids what they thought of the Sunday homily. (If they answer, “It was the most boring thing I ever heard!” and you agree, consider saying so. Avoid insincere praise, which they can spot in a minute.) Ask them what they might have said about the gospel if they’d given the homily that day. They might surprise you.
“We try to make the kids understand that our faith has helped us through hard times,” writes Ted Rosean. Several years ago, when a son was going through a rough time, “I told him going to Mass helped me, and he discovered the Newman Center at college, where he went to Mass every day for about a month. I don’t think he’s been back there since, so I guess he’s over it. But I think he’ll remember the experience as a helpful one for when the next storm hits.”
You might get teased, by your kids at least, if you take your faith seriously. Rosean, for one, reports that his kids poke fun at him. And his brother, if you’re old enough to recall the Saturday Night Live skit, calls him “the church lady.” Jesus promised no less.
Pitch in
Granted, parents are swimming in service: laundry, shopping, cooking, filling out school forms, all on behalf of our offspring. But children ought not simply receive our service, they should know the world needs their effort, too.
“My parents included us in service,” says Sandria De Sapio. “My mother taught CCD, and I would go along with her to help. My dad helped run the church picnic, and our whole family would be there setting up. It seemed fun, and not work, to lug the Nativity scene out of the rectory basement each Christmas. Naturally, as my brothers and I got older, we began to seek out opportunities of service ourselves.”
Making service a habit early on will help it become an expected part of life. The key is reflecting with your kids on their service in the light of your faith. Service can get kids thinking about the world and why it is the way it is; it leads them toward empathy. You can help them understand why we as Catholics believe that the poor and suffering have to be taken care of first.
We may be tempted to have children do service because “It’s good for their development” or—let’s get real—to add to a child’s “resume” for high school or college. Try this instead: All of us, including kids, have a responsibility for the common good. “We get to heaven on the backs of the poor,” as Chicago’s Cardinal Francis George is fond of saying. That’s why we have the corporal works of mercy. In Matthew’s 25th chapter Jesus says directly that when we feed the hungry or go to a wake or serve the homeless, we actually encounter him.
Catherine O'Connell-Cahill