I see Jesus and Judas once again: they are coming out of the Temple, after praying in the area closest to the Holy of Holies, allowed to Jewish males.
Judas would like to remain with Jesus. But the Master objects to his wish. «Judas, I want to be alone at night time. At night, My spirit gets its nourishment from the Father. Prayer, meditation and solitude are more necessary for the Me than material food. Who wishes to live for the spirit, and lead others to live the same life, must disregard the flesh, nay, I would say: kill it, to devote all his attention to the spirit. Everybody must do that, you know, Judas. You, too, if you really want to belong to God, that is to the supernatural.»
«But we are still on the earth, Master. How can we neglect the flesh and take care only of the spirit? Is what You say not the antithesis of God's commandment: "You shall not kill"? Does the commandment not forbid also suicide? If life is a gift from God, must we love it, or not?»
«I will not reply to you as I would reply to a simple-minded man, whom it is sufficient to get to raise his soul or his mind to supernatural spheres, so that we can take him with us flying in spiritual kingdoms. You are not a simple-minded person. You wer formed in an environment that refined you... and it also marred you with its quibbles and doctrines. Do you remember Salomon, Judas? He was wise, the wisest man of those times. Do you remember what he said, after acquiring all knowledge? "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. To fear God and observe His commandments, that is all that matters to man". Now I tell you that it is necessary to know how to get nourishment, but no poison, from food. And if we know that a food is badfor us, because if causes detrimental reactions in us, as it is stronger than our salutary juices wich could counteract its effects, we must take no more of that food, even if it is pleasant to our taste. Plain bread and water from the fountain are better than the sophisticated dishes of the king's table, containting drugs wich upset and poison.»
«What must I leave, Master?»
«Everything you know that upsets you. Because God is peace and if you want to follow the path of God, you must clear your mind, your heart and your flesh of everything that is not peace producing and causes perturbation. I know it is difficult to amend one's way of living. But I am here to help you. I am here to help man become the son of God once again, to re-create himself by means of a new creation, of an autogenis wanted by man himself. But let Me reply to your question, so that you may not say that you were left in error through a fault of Mine. It is true that to kill oneself is the same as killing other people. Both our own and other people's lives are the gift of God and only God Who gives life, has the authority to take it. Who kills himself, confesses his own pride, and pride is hated by God.»
«He confesses his pride? I would say his despair.»
«And what is despair but pride? Just think, Judas. Why does one despair? Either because misfortunes persistently perturb him and he wants to overcome them himself, but is unable to do so. Or because he is guilty and he thinks that he cannot be forgiven by God. In both cases, is not pride the basic reason? The man who wants to do all by himself, is no longer humble enough to stretch out his hand to the Father and say to Him: "I am not able, but You are. Help me because I hope and wait for everything from You". The other man who says: "Got cannot forgive me" says so, because measuring God by his own standards, he knows that another person could not forgive him, if that person had been offended, as he offended God. So here aqain it is pride. A humble man understands and forgives, even if he suffers for the offence received. A proud man does not forgive. He is proud also because he is not capable of lowering his head an sayiing: "Father, I have sinned, forgive Your poor guilty son". But do you not know, Judas, that the Father will forgive everything, if one asks to be forgiven with a sincere, contrite, humble, heart willing to rise aqain to new life?»
«But certain crimes are not to be forgiven. They cannot be forgiven.»
«That is what you say. And it will be true only because man wants it to be true. But, oh! I solemnly tell you that even after the crime of crimes, if the guilty man should rush to the Father's feet - He is called Father, Judas, just for that, and He is a Father of infinite perfection - and crying, implored Him to be forgiven, offering to expiate, without despairing, the Father would make it possible for him to expiate and thus deserve forgiveness and save his soul.»
«Well, then, You say that the men quoted by the Scriptures who killed themselves, did wrong.»
«It is not lawful to do violence to anybody, not even to oneself. They did wrong. In their limited knowledge of good, perhaps in certain cases, they had mercy from God. But after the Word has clarified the truth and has given strength to spirits with His Spirit, then who dies in despair will no longer forgiven. Neither in the instant of the personal judgement, nor after centuries of Gehenna, on Doomsday, never! Is that hardness on God' side? No: it is justice. God will say: "You, a creature gifted with reason and supernatural knowledge, created free by Me, you decided to follow the path you choose and you said: 'God will not forgive me. I am separated from Him for ever. I think I must apply the law by myself to my own crime. I am parting from life to evade remorse' without considering that you would no longer have felt remorse if you had come on My faithful bosom. And let it be done to you, as you judged. I will not do violence to the freedom I gave you".
That is what the Eternel Father will say to the suicide. Meditate on it, Judas. Life is a gift, a gift to be loved. But what gift is it? A holy gift. So love it holily. Life lasts as long as the flesh holds out. The the great Life, the eternal Life begins. A Life of blissful hapiness for the just, of malediction for the unjust. Is life a purpose or a means? It is a means. It serves for a purpose which is eternity. Then let us give life what is required to make it last and serve the spirit in its conquest. Continence of the flesh in all its desires, in all of them. Continence of the mind in all its desires, in all of them. Continence of the heart in all human passions. Infinite instead is to be ardour for heavenly passions: love of God and the neighbour, obedience to the divine word, heroism in good and virtue.
I have given you the answer, Judas. Are you convinced? Is the explanation sufficient? Be always sincere, and ask when you do not yet know enough: I am her to be your Master.»
«I have understood and it is sufficient. But... it is very difficult to do what I have understood. You can... because You are holy. But... I am a man, young and full of life...»
«I have come men, Judas. Not for the angels. They do not need teacher. They see God. They live in His Paradise. They are not unaware of the passions of men, beacause the Intelligence wich is their Life makes them acquainted with everything, also those who are not guardians of men. But, spiritual as they are, they can have but one sin, as one of them had, and he drew to his side those who were weaker in charity: pride, the arrow that disfigured Lucifer, the most beautiful of the archangels, and turned him into the horripilant monster of the Abyss. I have not come for the angels, who, after Lucifer'fall, are horrified even at the shadow of a proud throught.
But I have come for men. To make angels of men.
Man was the perfection of creation. He had the spirit of the angel and the full beauty of animal, complete in all its animal and moral parts. There was no creature equal to him. He was the king of the earth, as God is the King of Heaven, and one day, when he would have fallen asleep for the last time on the earth, he would have become king with the Father in Heaven. Satan tore the wings off the angel-man and he replaced them with the claws of a beast and with intense yearning for filth, and lured him into becoming a being wich is better described as a man-demon, rather than simply man. I want to eradicate the disfigurement worked by Satan, as well as the corrupted craving of the contaminated flesh. I want to give back to man his wings, and make him once again king, coheir of the Father and of the Celestial Kingdom. I know that man, if he is willing, can do what I say, to become once again king and angel. I would not tell you things you could not do. I am not one of the rhetors who preach impossible doctrines. I have real flesh, so that throuth the experience of the flesh, I might learn wich are the temptations of man.»
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