Jesus
hands out the portions, ensuring that everybody is well served, just
like a father of a family among his children who are all dear to him. He
is solemn, somewhat sad, when He says: « I have longed to eat this
Passover with you. It has been the desire of My desires since, from
eternity, I was "the Saviour". I knew that this hour precedes that one.
And the joy of giving Myself, brought this relief, in advance, to My
suffering… I have longed to eat this Passover with you, because never
again shall I taste the fruit of the vine until the Kingdom of God has
come. Then I will sit again with the elect at the Banquet of the Lamb,
for the wedding of the Living Ones with the Living One. But only those
who have been lowly and pure in heart, as I am, will come to it. »
« Master,
a short while ago You said that he who has not the honour of the seat,
has that of being in front of You. So, how can we know who is the first
among us? » asks Bartholomew.
« Everybody
and nobody. Once… we were coming back and we were tired and… nauseated
at the bitter hatred of the Pharisees. But you were not so tired as to
be prevented from discussing among yourselves who was the greatest… A
little boy ran up to Me… a little friend of Mine… And his innocence
mitigated My disgust for so many things. Your obstinate humanity not
being the last. Where are you now, little Benjamin gifted with the wise
reply, that came to you from Heaven because, as you were an angel, the
Spirit spoke to you? Then I said to you: "If anyone wants to be the
first, he must be the last and the servant of everybody". And I gave you
the wise boy as an example. Now I say to you: "The kings of nations
dominate them. And although the peoples oppressed hate them, they
acclaim them and kings are called 'Benefactors', 'Fathers of the
Fatherland'. But hatred smoulders under the false homage". But do not
let it be so with you. The greatest must be like the smallest, the head
like him who serves. Who is in fact greater? He who sits at the table,
or he who serves? It is he who sits at the table. And yet I serve you.
And before long I will serve you even more. You are the ones who have
been with Me in My trials. And I will arrange a place for you in My
kingdom, in the same manner as I shall be King in it according to the
will of the Father, that you may eat and drink at My eternal table and
you may sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel. You have
remained with Me in My trials… This is the only thing that makes you
great in the eyes of the Father. »
« And what about those who will come? Will they have no place in the Kingdom? We alone? »
« Oh!
How many princes in My House! All those who have been faithful to the
Christ in the trials of life, will be princes in My Kingdom. Because
those who have persevered to the end in the martyrdom of life will be
like you, who have remained with Me in My trials. I identify Myself with
those who believe in Me. The Sorrow that I embrace for you and for all
men, I give it as insignia to those who are particularly chosen. He who
is faithful to Me in Sorrow will be one of My souls in bliss, My
beloved. »
« We have persevered until the end. »
« Do
you think so, Peter? And I tell you that the hour of trial is still to
come. Simon, Simon of Jonas, Satan has asked to sift you all like wheat.
I have prayed for you, that your faith may not vacillate. When you have
recovered, strengthen your brothers. »
« I know that I am a sinner. But I will be faithful to You until death. I do not have that sin and I will never have it. »
« Do
not be proud, My Peter. This hour will change an infinite number of
things, which previously were so and will now be different. How many!…
They bring and impose new necessities. You are aware of that. I have
always said to you, even when we were going along
remote places infested by highwaymen: "Be not afraid. No evil will
befall us, because the angels of the Lord are with us. Do not worry
about anything". Do you remember when I used to say to you: "Do not
worry about what you must eat and about your clothes. The Father knows
what we need"? I also used to say to you: "Man is much more than a
sparrow and a flower that today is grass and tomorrow is hay. And yet
the Father takes care both of the flower and of the little bird. So can
you doubt that He will not take care of you?" I also used to say: "Give
to anyone who asks, and if anyone offends you, offer him the other cheek
as well". I also used to say: "Take no bag or stick". Because I taught
love and trust. But now… Now the times have changed. Now I say to you:
"Have you ever been short of anything so far? Have you ever been
offended?". »
« Nothing, Master. You alone were offended. »
« So
you can see that My word was true. But now the angels have all been
recalled by their Lord. It is the hour of demons… With their golden
wings the angels of the Lord are covering their eyes and enveloping
themselves and they regret that the colour of their wings is not a
gloomy one, because it is time of mourning, of cruel sacrilegious
mourning… There are no angels on the Earth this evening. They are near
the throne of God, to drown the blasphemies of the deicide world and the
weeping of the Innocent. And we are alone… You and I: alone. And the
demons are the masters of the hour. So we shall now take the appearances
and the measures of poor men who do not trust and do not love. Now, he
who has a purse should take also a haversack, he who has no sword should
sell his cloak and buy one. Because this also is said of Me in the
Scriptures and must be fulfilled: "He has been counted among the
wicked". Truly everything that concerns Me has its purpose. »
Simon,
who has got up and gone to the chest where he put his rich mantle -
because this evening they are all wearing their best clothes, and so on
their sumptuous belts they are carrying daggers, damaskened but very
short ones, more like knives than daggers - takes two swords, two real,
long, slightly bent swords and returning to Jesus with them he says:
« Peter and I have armed ourselves this evening. We have these, but the
others have only short daggers. »
Jesus
takes the swords, examines them, He unsheathes one of them and tests
its edge on His nail. It is a strange sight, and even more strangely
impressive to see that cruel weapon in Jesus' hands.
« Who gave them to you? » asks the Iscariot, while Jesus is examining them and is silent. And Judas seem to be on tenter-hooks…
« Who? I remind you that my father was a nobel and mighty man. »
« But Peter… »
« So? Since when have I to give an account of the presents that I want to give my friends? »
Jesus raises His head after sheathing the sword again. He hands it back to the Zealot.
« All
right. They are enough. You did well in taking them. "But now, before
drinking the third chalice, wait a moment. I told you that the greatest
is the same as the smallest and that I am acting as a servant at this
table, and I will serve you even more. So far I have given you food. A
service for your bodies. Now I want to give you food for your spirits.
It is not a dish of the ancient rite. It belongs to the new rite. I
wanted to be baptised before being the "Master". That baptism was
sufficient to spread the Word. Now His Blood will be shed. Another
ablution is required for you, although you have been purified by the
Baptist, in his days, and also today in the Temple. But it is not yet
sufficient. Come, that I may purify you. Interrupt your meal. There is
something more elevated and necessary than the food given to the stomach
to fill it, even if it is holy food as the present one of the Passover
rite. And it is a pure spirit, ready to receive the gift of Heaven,
which is already descending to make its throne in you and give you the
Life. To give the Life to those who are pure. »
Jesus
stands up, He makes John stand up to come out of His place more easily,
He goes to the chest and takes off His red tunic and folds it placing
it on His mantle, which is there already folded, He girds Himself with a
large towel and He goes towards another basin, which is empty and
clean. He pours some water into it, He takes it to the middle of the
room, near the table, and puts it on a stool. The apostles look at Him
dumbfounded.
« Are you not asking Me what I am doing? »
« We do not know. I tell You that we are already purified » replies Peter.
« And I repeat to you that it does not matter. My purification will serve him, who is already pure, to become purer. »
He
kneels down. He unties the Iscariot's sandals and washes his feet, one
at a time. It is easy to do so, because the couches are made in such a
way that the feet are in the outer side. Judas is astonished and does
not say anything. Only when Jesus, before putting the sandal on the left
foot and getting up, makes the gesture of kissing his right foot, that
has already been shod, Judas withdraws his foot violently and with the
sole strikes the divine mouth. He does so unintentionally. It is not a
strong blow. But it grieves me so much. Jesus smiles, and to the apostle
who asks Him: « Did I hurt You? I did not intend to… Forgive me », He
says: « No, My friend. You did it without malice and it does not hurt. »
Judas looks at Him… A worried elusive look…
Jesus
passes on to Thomas, then to Philip… He goes round the narrow side of
the table and arrives at His cousin James. He washes his feet and when
getting up He kisses him on his forehead. He passes on to Andrew, who
blushes with shame and makes efforts not
to weep, He washes his feet and kisses him like a baby. Then there is
James of Zebedee, who goes on grumbling: « Oh! Master! Master! Master!
You are lowering Yourself, my sublime Master! » John has already untied
his sandals and while Jesus is bent drying his feet, he kisses His head.
But
Peter!… It is not easy to convince him to submit to the rite! « You
want to wash my feet? Do not even think about it! As long as I live, I
will never allow You to do that. I am a worm, You are God. Each to his
own place. »
« You cannot understand now what I am doing. Later you will understand. Let Me do it. »
« You can do anything You like, Master. Do You want to cut my neck? Do so. But You will never wash my feet. »
« Oh!
My Simon! Do you not know that if I do not wash you, you will take no
part in My Kingdom? Simon, Simon! You are in need of this water for your
soul and for the long journey you have to take. Do you not want to come
with Me? If I do not wash you, you will not come to My Kingdom. »
« Oh! my blessed Lord! Then, wash all my body! Feet, hands and head! »
« Anyone
who, like you, has had a bath, needs only to have his feet washed, as
he is completely pure. The feet… Man walks with his feet on filth. And
it would not be much either, because, as I told you, it is not what
enters and comes out with food that dirties, and it is not what settles
on his feet on the roads that contaminates man. But it is what smoulders
and matures in his heart and comes out from it, which contaminates his
actions and limbs. And the feet of a man with an impure spirit go to
orgies, to lust, to illicit business, to crimes… Therefore, among the
various parts of the body they are the ones that have much to be
purified… with the eyes and mouth… Oh! man! man! A perfect being for one
day: the first one! And then so corrupted by the Seducer! And there was
no malice in you, man, no sin!… And now? You are all malice and sin,
and there is no part in you that does not sin! »
Jesus
has washed Peter's feet, He kisses them, and Peter weeps and takes
Jesus' two hands in his own big ones and he rubs them against his eyes
and then kisses them.
Simon
also has taken off his sandals, and without one word he lets Jesus wash
his feet. Then, when Jesus is about to pass on to Bartholomew, Simon
kneels down and kisses His feet saying: « Cleanse me from the leprosy of
sin, as You cleansed me from the leprosy of my body, that I may not be
confused in the hour of judgement, my Saviour! »
« Be not afraid, Simon. You will come to the heavenly City as white as mountain snow. »
« And what about me, Lord? What are You going to say to Your
old
Bart? You saw me in the shade of the fig-tree and You read my heart.
And now what do You see, and where do You see me? Reassure a poor old
man, who is afraid he may not have strength arid time to become what You
want him to be. » Bartholomew is deeply moved.
« You
must not be afraid either. I then said: "Here is a true Israelite in
whom there is no deceit". Now I say: "Here is a true Christian worthy of
the Christ". Where do I see you? On an eternal throne, dressed in
purple. I shall always be with you. »
It
is Judas Thaddeus' turn. When he sees Jesus at his feet, he cannot
control himself, he rests his head on his arm laid on the table and
weeps.
« Do
not weep, My sweet brother. You are now like one who must endure the
extirpation of a nerve and you think that you will not be able to stand
it. But it will be a short pain. Then… oh! you will be happy, because
you love Me. Your name is Judas. And you are like our great Judas: like a
giant. You are the one who protects. Your actions are those of a lion
and of a young roaring lion. You will rouse the impious who will
withdraw when you face them, and the wicked will be terrified. I know.
Be brave. An eternal union will strengthen and make perfect our kinship
in Heaven. » He kisses his forehead as well, as He did for His other
cousin.
« I am a sinner, Master. Not me… »
« You
were a sinner, Matthew. You are now the Apostle. You are one of My
"voices". I bless you. How far have these feet walked to come more and
more forward, towards God… Your soul urged them and they left every way
that was not My way. Proceed. Do you know where the path ends? On the
bosom of your Father and Mine. »
Jesus
has finished. He takes the towel off and washes His hands in clean
water, He puts His clothes on, goes back to His seat, and while sitting
down He says: « You are now pure, but not all of you. Only those who
wanted to be so. »
He
stares at Judas of Kerioth, who feigns he does not hear Him, intent as
he is on explaining to his companion Matthew how his father decided to
send him to Jerusalem. A useless conversation, the only purpose of which
is to give an attitude to Judas, who, however bold, must feel ill at
ease.
Jesus
pours wine into the common chalice for the third time. He drinks and
makes the others drink. He then intones, and the others sing in chorus:
« I love because the Lord hears the voice of my prayer, because He turns
His ear towards me. I will invoke Him throughout my life. The throes of
death had surrounded me » etc. (Psalm 114, I think).
A moment's pause. He then resumes singing: « I had faith, that is why I spoke. But I was deeply humiliated. And in my dismay
I said: "Every man is untruthful". » He looks fixedly at Judas.
My
Jesus' voice, which is tired this evening, regains vigour when He
exclaims: « The death of holy people is precious in the eyes of God »
and « You have broken my chains. I will sacrifice a victim of praise to
You invoking the name of the Lord » etc. (Psalm 115).
Another
short pause and He then resumes: « Praise the Lord, all nations, praise
Him, all peoples. Because His mercy has been asserted upon us and the
truth of the Lord lasts for ever. »
Another short pause and then a long hymn: « Sing praises to the Lord because He is good, because His mercy lasts for ever… »
Judas
of Kerioth sings so much out of tune, that twice Thomas brings him back
into tune with his powerful loud baritone voice and stares at him. The
others also look at him, because he is generally in tune, and I have had
the impression that he is proud of his ()ice as he is of everything
else. But this evening! Certain sentences upset him so much that he
sings false notes, and certain glances of Jesus underlining those
sentences have the same effect. One of them is: « It is better to
confide in the Lord than to confide in man. » Another one is: « When I
was pushed, I staggered and was about to fall. But the Lord supported
me. » Another is: « I shall not die, I shall live and narrate the deeds
of the Lord. » And finally, these two, that I am going to relate now,
strangle the Traitor's voice in his throat: The stone rejected by the
builders has become the cornerstone and « Blessed is He Who comes in the
name of the Lord! »
When
the psalm is over, while Jesus is cutting and handing the lamb round
again, Matthew asks Judas of Kerioth: « Are you not feeling well? »
« No. Leave me alone. Don't worry about me. »
Matthew shrugs his shoulders.
John,
who has heard, says: « The Master is not well either. What is the
matter with You, my Jesus? Your voice is weak, like the voice of a sick
person or of one who has wept much » and he embraces Him, resting his
head on Jesus' chest.
« He has only spoken a lot, as I have only walked a lot and got cold » says Judas nervously.
And Jesus, without replying to him, says to John: « You know Me by now… and you know what makes Me tired… »
The
lamb is almost consumed. Jesus, Who has eaten very little, and has only
had a sip of wine at each chalice, but to compensate for that, has
drunk a lot of water, as if He were feverish, resumes speaking: « I want
you to understand My gesture of a short while ago. I told you that the
first is like the last, and that I am going to give you a food that is
not corporeal. I have given you a nourishment of humility, for your
spirits. You call Me: Master and Lord. You are right, because so I am.
So if I have washed your feet you should wash each other's feet. I have
given you an example, so that you
may do what I have done. I tell you solemnly: no servant is greater
than his master, no apostle is greater than He Who appointed him. Try to
understand these things. Then, if you understand them and put them into
practice, you will be blessed. But not all of you will be blessed. I
know you. I know whom I chose. I am not speaking of everybody in the
same way. But I say what is true. On the other hand, what has been
written concerning Me, is to be fulfilled: "He who eats the bread with
Me, rebels against Me". I am telling you everything before it happens,
that you may have no doubts about Me. When everything has been
accomplished, you will believe even more that I am I. He who receives
Me, receives Him Who sent Me: the Holy Father Who is in Heaven; and he
who receives those whom I send, will receive Me. Because I am with the
Father and you are with Me… But now let us finish the rite. »
He
pours more wine into the common chalice and before drinking of it and
letting the others drink, He stands up, and everybody stands up with
Him, and He sings one of the previous psalms again: « I had faith and
that is why I spoke… » and then He sings a psalm that never comes to an
end. Beautiful… but eternal! I think I have found it, by its beginning
and its length, as psalm 118. They sing it as follows. They sing one
part in chorus. Then, in turns, one recites a couplet, and the others in
chorus sing another part, and so forth till the end. No wonder they are
thirsty at the end!