Stop Pushing Boundaries
Some help for when your son tells you he wants to be a priest…
I worked at a college for a few years that came up with what some claimed to be such a wonderful marketing slogan: Pushing Boundaries.
Question #1 – what does that even mean? I was always perplexed by such an outrageous catchphrase for a college. Is that similar to overstepping boundaries or crossing boundaries? That doesn’t sound too good. Psychology, Philosophy, and the Social Sciences point to the fact that boundaries are often a good thing. Laws are enacted to help promote peace and the common good. Do we need to push those? On second thought, our society and political system seems to be answering that question already.
Question #2 – What boundaries are in place that you wish to change-all of them or just those with which you disagree? Is it the idea that some
laws and policies inhibit us from being truly free thus we need to alter them? For instance, there are people who argue that the “rules” of the
Catholic Church are outdated and constrictive. I would argue that most of those people don’t actually know the “rules” and therefore cannot make the judgment.
Boundaries, rules, policies, guidelines, and limitations are not always a negative thing. In fact, they are often more freeing than restrictive.
Knowing and setting boundaries (not pushing them) can be very helpful to us as parents when the topic of vocations come up in our home.
What do I do when my son tells me he is thinking about becoming a priest? First things first, do not overreact. It obviously took your son a lot
of courage to bring that idea to the table and openly say that to you. There are two extreme reactions that can take place – either you over
react and want to ordain him tomorrow, or you overreact in a negative way and thus discourage him from future discernment. How you react is key; we do not realize the impact our opinions have on our children.
One the one hand…Those will overreact with joy
Since finding young men for the priesthood in today’s society is becoming more and more difficult, it is important to remember that God calls. He is the one who calls, invites, and stirs within a man the desire to serve God more and more. If we constantly bring up the idea of this vocation and badger him about it, he may begin to feel pressured to move toward the priesthood before he is ready. Don’t brag about it to other
people in your church. He can share the news with people when he is ready. In the meantime, ask people to pray for him and all vocations!
On the other hand…some overreact with fear
Some may react to the idea of priesthood with complete fear. No daughter in-law, no grandchildren, No one to carry on the family name, no money, no certainty of where you will be living, etc. Let’s face it, some will react to their son’s discernment as if he were discerning flying into
outer space to blow up the asteroid doomed to destroy earth! Take a breath…it’s going to be OK. Just because a priest is not married or
doesn’t have biological children, does not mean that he isn’t enjoying life or the gifts God gave him, including his sexuality. Celibacy is a
beautiful way of living out God’s plan and priests are blessed with numerous children and extended family through the lives of their
parishioners! Just like you worry about your kids, priests stay up late some nights worrying aboutthis parishioner struggling with finding a job
or that parishioner who is having a tough time in their marriage. And just like you, the priest rejoices with and celebrates the joys in their
“children’s” lives – weddings, baptisms, etc.
So, how do you react? Knowing the proper boundaries, and not pushing them, react in love. Let him know you are proud of him for having the courage to discern the call and tell him you are here to discuss it whenever he wants. God will lead him in the right direction.
November 23, AD 2013 | Matthew Higgins
What do I do when my son tells me he is thinking about
becoming a priest? First things first,
do not overreact. It obviously took your
son a lot of courage to bring that idea to the table and openly
say that to you. There are two extreme reactions that can take place – either
you over react and want to ordain him tomorrow, or you
overreact in a negative way and thus discourage him from future
discernment. How you react is key; we do not realize the impact our opinions have
on our children.
One the one hand…Those will overreact with joy
Since finding young men for the priesthood in today’s
society is becoming more and more difficult, it is important to remember that
God calls. He is the one who calls,
invites, and stirs within a man the desire to serve God more and more. If we constantly bring up the idea of this
vocation and badger him about it, he may begin to feel pressured to move toward
the priesthood before he is ready. Don’t
brag about it to other
people in your church. He can share the news with
people when he is ready. In the meantime,
ask people to pray for him and all vocations!
On the other hand…some overreact with fear
Some may react to the idea of priesthood with complete
fear. No daughter in-law, no
grandchildren, No one to carry on the
family name, no money, no certainty of where you will be living, etc. Let’s face it, some will react to their son’s discernment as if he
were discerning flying into outer space to blow up the asteroid doomed to destroy
earth! Take a breath…it’s going to be
OK.
Just because a priest is not married
or doesn’t have biological children, does not mean that
he isn’t enjoying life or the gifts God gave him, including his sexuality. Celibacy is a beautiful way of living out God’s plan and priests are
blessed with numerous children and extended family through the lives of their parishioners!
Just like you worry about your kids, priests stay up late some nights
worrying aboutthis parishioner struggling with finding a job or that parishioner who is having a tough time in
their marriage. And just like you, the priest rejoices with and celebrates the
joys in their
“children’s” lives – weddings, baptisms, etc.
So, how do you react? Knowing the proper boundaries,
and not pushing them, react in love. Let
him know you are proud of him for having the courage to discern the call and
tell him you are here to discuss it whenever he wants. God will lead him in the right direction.
- See more at:
http://www.ignitumtoday.com/2013/11/23/stop-pushing-boundaries/#sthash.PokQh8g1.dpuf