A new outlook on life: Mariam, Belgium September 9, 2013:
I was born in Irak and lived there till I was two, when we had to get out because of the war, and we went to live in Holland. I lived there till I was twenty, and then came to Belgium to study. I have two brothers. My mom was always a Catholic, my dad was a Muslim and was converted to Catholicism in 2004. When he was baptized my brothers and I were baptized too.I heard of St Josemaria’s message about Christian life in the students’ hall of residence where I live. One day something happened that made me think. It was Friday evening, when I was just setting off for Holland to spend the weekend at home. I saw a girl rushing past, in a great hurry. It was a quarter past six. I asked her, “Where are you going? Why the hurry?” The first thing she said was, “I’m looking for my coat!” “Your coat? So where are you going?” She said, “I’m going to Mass.” Then I thought, “Mass? What does she want to go to Mass on a Friday for?” I’d heard that there were people who go to Mass on Sundays, but I’d never heard of anyone going on a Friday evening. In my family the only time of year we went to Mass was Christmas or Easter.
Later, on the train home, I started thinking about what had just happened. I thought, “Why go to Mass on a Friday night? What could she want to do there?” I felt like going to Mass myself, but “Why?” I realized I didn’t know what happened when Mass was celebrated.
When I got back to the residence on Monday I went to find the same girl and asked why she went to Mass. The first thing she did was give me a book about the Mass. And in that book I read that Holy Communion is really Christ. Then I thought, “So you can actually receive Christ here on this earth?” I didn’t know that! And I said to myself, “If I can receive him, I would really like to.” I believed in God, but I didn’t know much about what my faith was based on, because I’d had no religious instruction at all.
May I come to Mass with you?
The next day I went back and asked the same girl, “May I come to Mass with you?” Then she explained that before I could receive Holy Communion, I would have to go to Confession. I’d never been to Confession, and when she said that, I thought, “I don’t want to do that.” I started going to Mass with her every day, but didn’t go to Communion.
One day, my friend asked me, “What about if you make your First Holy Communion before Christmas?” I thought, “Receive Christ! It’s amazing!” But then she said, “You know what you have to do first: go to the Sacrament of Penance.” I still didn’t much like the idea of going to Confession, but I said straight away, “Yes, I want to do that.” When I got to my room I thought, “Oh no, I need to prepare my Confession, I don’t feel like it…”
Then I went to some Catechism classes about the Eucharist and Confession, and took the decision to receive both Sacraments. When I was preparing for it, I felt it was going to be difficult to say everything in the Confessional, and I couldn’t imagine that it was Christ who was going to be there and not the priest. That was a very human way of seeing it, but if you really believe that Christ instituted the Sacrament of Penance, that it is all His doing, then it has to be true. There’s no other way.
Finally, when I had prepared for my first Confession, I used to sit in the oratory every day and think, “Why do I have to go to Confession?” But after I’d actually been to Confession, I felt as if I could fly. It’s an incredible moment, because all your sins – OK it sounds funny – all your sins are forgiven; everything you’ve done wrong, everything, is forgiven! It’s like beginning your life over again. And for me it really was like that: I was able to begin again, in my studies, with my friends, in my relationship with my parents.
After
I’d been to Confession I felt like I could fly. It’s an incredible
moment, because all your sins – OK it sounds funny – all your sins are
forgiven.
And that’s what I did. A week before Christmas I made my first Holy Communion. It was great, because everyone in the residence came to the ceremony.
My friend then suggested that, now that I’d received Communion, I could receive Confirmation. I was confirmed on May 20, the day before my twenty-first birthday. That was fantastic too. The Bishop of the diocese came to the residence. At that point you realize that you have received the Holy Spirit and that you’re an adult in the Catholic Church. My parents came for the ceremony. To begin with, I was nervous about how they’d react, but they could see that I was really motivated by love, love for God, and that I had faith.
Now I realize that from the time I came to live in the residence I’ve learned so much: the Faith, getting to know Christ, the Sacraments, friendship, and more. St Josemaria’s message still helps me in my daily life, during my study and in the way I relate to other people. He said that everything you do, you can turn it into prayer. He wrote in The Way, “An hour of study is an hour of prayer” (The Way, 335). And you can offer it for your family, your friends, people in need…
In my class I may be the only one who can make God known to the others. They often ask me, “Why are you always so happy, no matter what happens?” For instance, before an exam I frequently get asked, “What’s happened to you? We have an exam! Why are you looking so happy?!” Then I tell them there are two ways of facing things like that: you can either laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh and wait and see what happens.
At home, my parents notice I’ve changed. It’s because I see the world differently. I try to help the people around me, be there when they need something… I try and do it the best I can!
