Q. My
husband and I have a difference of opinion about a very personal
subject. I have always believed that it is OK for a married couple to
hug and hold each other in a close embrace to show a special love and
dearness. I am only speaking of showing affection. My husband however,
was told that you should never arouse your partner unless the marital
act can be completed. As a result he is very distant. He was not raised
in an affectionate family as I was. Can you suggest something I may say
or do, or tell me if I am mistaken?
Fr. Rocky: It’s true, spouses should avoid intentionally arousing each other unless they intend to complete the marital act. However, normal signs of spousal affection, such as a hug, an embrace, a kiss and so forth, should not be misinterpreted as more than they are. The tension you describe is not uncommon: Some people seem to be cold and distant, while others are more expressive, tender, and affectionate.
I don’t think that you’re mistaken, and I suggest that you tell your husband that you need “two hugs a day and three kisses” in order to keep you out of trouble and to inspire you to prepare delicious meals for him each evening. I think he’ll get the message. If he doesn’t, then you should start serving him brussel sprouts and liver.
Fr. Rocky: It’s true, spouses should avoid intentionally arousing each other unless they intend to complete the marital act. However, normal signs of spousal affection, such as a hug, an embrace, a kiss and so forth, should not be misinterpreted as more than they are. The tension you describe is not uncommon: Some people seem to be cold and distant, while others are more expressive, tender, and affectionate.
I don’t think that you’re mistaken, and I suggest that you tell your husband that you need “two hugs a day and three kisses” in order to keep you out of trouble and to inspire you to prepare delicious meals for him each evening. I think he’ll get the message. If he doesn’t, then you should start serving him brussel sprouts and liver.