(...)the same friend gave me a book entitled Prophecy in the Local Church,
by Anglican Bishop David Pytches, which I also devoured.In the book there was a story of a man who had a vision of an angel on the roof of a church. There was a hole in the roof. The angel was shoveling what appeared to be gold leaves onto the congregation, but no one was picking them up. The man asked the angel what this meant. He replied that the leaves were God’s gifts and that no one was bothering to pick them up.
On the same day that I read that story, we visited the cemetery where our son, Benjamin, is buried. Normally I am very unobservant, but as I walked among the graves I happened to notice something shiny on the ground. I picked it up, and to my utter astonishment, it was a gold leaf! It had been a woman’s earring; nevertheless, it was a gold leaf!
A friend explained that this type was made by pouring molten gold onto a real leaf. The process burned away the membrane and left only the delicate gold-covered veins of the leaf. It was breathtakingly beautiful! Real gold and a real leaf! (photo of my gold leaf)
To this day I am amazed whenever I pick it up. I treasure this gold leaf as a beautiful symbol of the many gifts my Father has given to this unworthy creature of his. I felt it was a powerful confirmation of my gift; it has carried me through more than one crisis of faith.
I do not wish to give you the impression that this conversion experience was a smooth transition for me. On the contrary, this encounter with the living God was rather an earthquake in my life. It affected my family in unexpected ways. At one point feeling quite stressed, I was doubting the gift and grieving the loss of a “normal” life. I cried out, “I just want my life back!” Soon, I started to feel like my old self. I still heard the “voice” albeit more faintly, but I had no special feeling of the Lord’s presence. After a few days I asked him why I no longer felt his presence.
He replied without judgment, “You took your life back.” It was a statement about a choice freely made.
The following Sunday, the Feast of the Ascension, I asked pardon and gave my life back to Jesus. I felt very keenly his presence at Mass, and later on felt him tell me this:
“I am still here. As you know I never left you. Even when you turned away, I stayed with you. Believe that I am leading you. Take my hand and follow. One life, two bodies, this is what I desire. . . .”
The next day, while praying the rosary I heard, “A personal encounter with Christ must change your life.”
From that time on, I felt more peaceful about my call. I remember telling a friend later on how this encounter with God had a similar effect on me as on a person winning the lottery—you go a little crazy at first!
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