By Michelle Arnold
The dilemma: Every March my director takes everyone out for lunch. It always falls on a Friday during Lent. Knowing it is Lent, the director always starts by saying his Uncle Paddy gives everyone a dispensation to eat whatever they want. It is a limited menu: Ham, roast beef, turkey sandwich, or a turkey burger. Last year I ordered the turkey burger, but only ate French fries and drank wine. I brought the burger home with me to eat the next day. Both my director and my manager were upset with me. In fact, my manager, an atheist, was livid and said I had insulted the director. It was very uncomfortable. What can I do next year?
The principle: While it is generous to treat people to lunch, it is intrusive and rude for anyone to monitor what people actually eat. If Uncle Paddy gave everyone a dispensation "to eat whatever they want," then there should have been no problem with you eating your French fries and taking the rest of your meal home to be consumed later.
A solution: If you think you can do so without risk to your job, you might continue to order what you wish, eat of it what you can, and if challenged again, say politely, "This is a matter of religious conviction for me." If you believe your job is in jeopardy if you do not comply with the expectation that you eat meat at this business lunch, you could ask your pastor for a dispensation from the Lenten Friday abstinence requirement. I caution you that to do so might demonstrate to your superiors that bullying works and could, in turn, encourage them to make your workplace even more hostile to religious employees. Whichever decision you make, if you get any blowback from your employer for following for your religious convictions, I recommend that you contact the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.