In a rich room, where the light from the outside barely manages to filter through, Juana weeps, her limbs fainting, sitting on a seat next to the low bed covered with splendid blankets. She weeps with one arm resting on the edge of the bed and her forehead on the arm, shaken by sobs that must break her chest. When, with the fatigue of weeping, she raises her head for a moment, seeking air, her face is literally bathed in tears, and a vast wet spot is visible on the precious coverlet. Then she leans her head back on her arm and only her neck, thin and white, the mass of her dark hair, her shoulders - very graceful - and the upper part of her trunk are visible again. The rest is lost in the half-light that overrides the body wrapped in a dark purple dress.
Without drawing back the curtain or opening the door, Jesus enters; without a sound, he approaches her. He brushes her hair with his hand and asks in a whispering voice:
-Why are you crying, Joan?
And Joan, who must believe that it is her angel asking her this question, and who sees nothing because she does not lift her head from the edge of the bed, with an even more desolate cry, expresses the cause of her torment:
-Because I do not even have the Sepulcher of the Lord to go and pour out my weeping and not be alone....
-But He is risen. Don't you feel happy about it?
-Oh, yes, but everyone has seen him, except me and Martha. And Martha will see him, no doubt, in Bethany... because that is a friendly house. Mine... mine is no longer.... I have lost everything with his Passion.... I have lost my Master and also the love of my husband... And his soul... because he does not believe... he does not believe... and he mocks me... and imposes on me not to venerate even the memory of my Savior... to avoid his own brokenness... For him it is more important the human interest... I... I... I do not know whether to continue to love him or to despise him; I do not know whether to obey him as a bride or to disobey him - as my soul would wish - for the greater espousal of the spirit with the Christ to whom I remain faithful... I... I would like to know... And who advises me, if poor Joan can no longer reach Him? Oh... for my Lord, the Passion is over! For me, Friday has begun, and it continues.... I am too weak and do not have the strength to carry this cross.....
-But if He would help you, would you want to carry it for Him?
-Yes! If He helps me, yes.... He knows what it is like to carry the cross alone.... Oh, pity my misfortune.....
-Yes, I know what it is to carry the cross alone. That is why I have come and am at your side. Joan, do you understand who it is that is speaking to you? You say that your house is no longer a friend of Christ? Why? He, the earthly spouse, is like a star covered by a cloud of human miasmas, but you are still Joan of Jesus. The Master has not left you. Jesus never leaves the souls who espouse Him. He is always the Master, the Friend, the Bridegroom... even now, when He is the Risen One. Raise your head, Joan. Look at me. In this moment of secret indoctrination, and sweeter than if I had appeared to you as to the others, I tell you what your future conduct should be. That which must be that of many of your sisters. Love your troubled husband with patience and submission. Increase your gentleness the more he nourishes in himself bitterness of human fears; increase your spiritual luminosity the more he generates for himself shadows of earthly interests. Be faithful for two. And be strong in your espousal of the spirit. How many, in the future, will have to choose between the will of God and that of the spouse! But they will be great when, above love and motherhood, they follow God. Your passion is just beginning. Yes, but you see that every passion ends in a resurrection....
Joan gradually raised her head. Her sobs have become more spaced out. Now she looks, and sees, and drops to her knees, adoring and whispering: -The Lord!
-Yes, the Lord. You see that in this way as I have been with you I have not been with any of them. It is because I see the particular needs and I value the help to be given to the souls who expect help from me. Go up to your Calvary as a bride with the help of my caress and that of your innocent one. He has entered Heaven with me and has given me his caress for you. I bless you, Jeanne. Have faith. I have saved you. You will save if you have faith.
Joan now smiles, and dares to ask:
-Don't you go to the children?
-I kissed them at dawn, while they were still asleep in their little bed. They thought I was an angel of the Lord. I can kiss the
I can kiss the innocent ones whenever I want. But I have not awakened them so as not to disturb them too much. Their soul retains the memory of my kiss... and will transmit it, in due time, to the mind. Nothing of mine is lost. You always be a mother to them. And always be my Mother's daughter. Never be totally separated from Her. She will always remind you, with motherly gentleness, of what our friendship was. And take the children to her. She needs to be with children to feel less lonely because of the absence of her Son....
-Cusa will not want...
-Causa will let you act.
-Are you going to disown me, Lord?
It is a cry of new distress.
-It is an eclipsed star. Lead him back to the light with your heroism as a wife and a Christian. Farewell. Apart from my Mother, do not speak to others of this visit of mine. The revelations must also be manifested to whom, and when, it is convenient to do so. Jesus smiles radiantly at her, and in His radiance He disappears.
Joan rises, alienated, with opposite feelings of joy and sorrow, between the fear of having dreamed and the certainty of having seen. But what she feels inside gives her security. She goes to the children, who are playing quietly on the terrace above, and kisses them.
-Are you not crying anymore, mommy? - asks Maria shyly, who is no longer the poor needy child, but a graceful and delicate little girl, with a neat dress and well-groomed hair; and Matias, dark and slender, with his little man's exuberance, says, "Tell me who makes you cry:
-Tell me who makes you cry, and I will chastise him.
Juana gathers them in a single embrace against her chest and, speaking about Maria's little brown head and Matias' dark hair, she says:
-I no longer cry. Jesus is risen and blesses us.
-So he is no longer bleeding? He is no longer in pain? - Mary asked.
-Don't be ignorant! Say: He is no longer dead, so now he is happy! Because being dead must be sad? - says Matías.
-So, Mom, we have no reason to cry anymore? - asks Maria.
-No. Not you, innocent ones. Rejoice with the angels.
-The angels! Tonight, I don't know which vigil, I felt a caress and I woke up saying: "Mommy", but I wasn't calling you. I was calling my dead mother, because that caress was lighter and sweeter than yours, and I opened my eyes for a moment. But I saw only a light, a very great light, and I said: "My angel kissed me to console me for the great pain I have for the death of the Lord" - says Mary.
-So did I. But I was very sleepy, and I said: "Is that you? I thought of my guardian angel and I wanted to tell him: "Go and kiss Jesus and Joan, so that they will no longer be afraid. But I didn't succeed. I went back to sleep, and I dreamed again, and it seemed to me that I was in Heaven with you and Mary. Then that earthquake came and I woke up scared. But Esther said to me, "Don't be afraid. It has already passed. And I slept on.
Joan kisses them again, and then leaves them to their serene games and goes to the Cenacle house.
She asks for Mary. She goes into her room. She closes the door and tells her great news: "I have seen him. I am telling you. I am consoled and happy. Love me, for He has said that I must be united to you.
The Mother replies:
-I have already told you that I love you. I told you on Saturday. Yesterday. Because it was yesterday... although it seems so far away from this day of light and smiles, this day of weeping and darkness.
-Yes... You said - now I remember - what He has now repeated to me. You said: "We women will have to act, because we have remained and the men have fled.... It is always the woman who generates..." Oh, Mother, help me to generate Cusa: He has fled from the Faith!.... - Joan weeps again.
Mary takes her in her arms:
-Stronger than faith is love. It is the most active virtue. With it you will create the new soul of Cusa. Do not be afraid. But I will help you.