If we ever feel
especially discouraged by some spiritual illness that seems incurable to
us, let us not forget these comforting words of Jesus: The healthy do
not need a doctor, but the sick. There is a remedy for everything. He is
always very close to us, but especially in those moments, no matter how
great the fault, even if there are many miseries. It is enough to be
really sincere.
Let us not forget it
either if at some time in our personal apostolate it seems to us that
someone has a sickness of the soul without an apparent solution. Yes,
there is, always. Perhaps our Lord expects more prayer and mortification
from us, more understanding and affection.
"All your illnesses will
be cured," says St. Augustine, "but they are many," you will say. More
powerful is the Physician. For the Almighty there is no unhealthy
illness; you just let yourself be cured, put yourself in his hands ".
We must come to Him like
those simple people around Him. Like the blind, the lame, the
paralyzed..., who ardently desired their healing. Only the one who knows
and feels stained experiences the deep need to be cleansed; only the
one who is aware of his wounds and sores experiences the urgency to be
healed. We must feel the urge to heal those points that our general or
particular examination of conscience teaches us must be healed.
Matthew left his old
life that day to begin a new one with Christ. Today we can make our own
this prayer of St. Ambrose: "I too, like him, want to leave my old life
and follow no one but you, Lord, who heal my wounds. Who can separate me
from the love of God that is manifested in you? I am bound by faith,
nailed to it; I am bound by the holy bonds of love. All your
commandments will be like a cautery that I will always have attached to
my body...; the medicine stings, but it keeps the infection away from
the sore. Therefore, Lord Jesus, cut away the rottenness of my sins.
While you have me bound by the bonds of love, cut off what is infected.
Come quickly to slay the hidden, secret, and manifold passions; slay the
wound, lest the disease spread to the whole body.
"I have found a
physician who dwells in Heaven, but who distributes his medicines on
earth. He alone can heal my wounds, because he does not suffer them; he
alone can remove from the heart the pain and from the soul the fear,
because he knows the most intimate things ".
Many of Matthew's
friends who were with Jesus at that banquet would feel welcomed and
understood by the Lord's kind treatment. He would have with them, no
doubt, singular signs of friendship. Later, they would convert to him
with all their hearts and fully accept his doctrine, which forced them
to change their lives in many ways. They would become part of the early
community of Christians in Palestine. Matthew's friends met the Master
at a banquet. Jesus always took advantage of any circumstance to lead
people to salvation. Here too we must imitate him in our personal
apostolate.
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