Rae-Mi LeRoy knew nothing about the Gospel or the Catholic faith until she was 38 years old. By then, she had made money in the entertainment industry (she worked in Los Angeles, in the Nakatomi Tower, the one from Die Hard, she explains, in offices at 20th Century Fox), and at the same time was seeking peace and spirituality in Buddhism and New Age.
And then, Jesus Christ came looking for her, first in dreams, then with numerous indications. When she decided to approach a church to ask questions, she thought that, as in theater and cinema, you had to reserve tickets and pay for them!
Baptized as a child, without any training or faith
I was baptized Catholic when I was a baby less than a month old, but my parents left the Church when I was about two years old. I grew up without any faith at all. My entire childhood and youth consisted of trying to get good grades, please my parents, and dance. My mom opened a dance studio when I was about five years old. Then, that became my life. I went to competitions and won many awards, she explains.
She went to an art university in Ohio, majoring in theater and dance. It was mandatory to sign up for a course on some religion, and the schedule fit her to go to 'Buddhism and Zen'. Those classes were the first time someone spoke to her about something spiritual.
I loved the concept of detachment. I was always very unmaterialistic, even as a child. For the first time someone was telling me that that was good. And I loved to meditate. I liked to be still, breathe, do nothing.
She got distracted from Buddhism as soon as she left university and went to live in Hollywood, to try to be a dancer or artist, with a dance scholarship. She tried for 8 years. She also experienced complicated things. And shortly before turning 30, she began to ask herself spiritual questions. She dusted off her Buddhist books and began going to yoga retreats. She became a certified yoga teacher and entered into the whole umbrella of the New Age
The core of all this spirituality was to admit that in the face of suffering, which is part of life, one must accept it, surrender and empty oneself. She considered herself a Buddhist yogi and felt very spiritual.
But, at the same time, she changed her professional focus. She was no longer trying to be an actress or dancer, but to dedicate herself to the business-commercial side. I worked for Universal Studios Hollywood in the Creative Department. We built all the attractions and shows for the park, and I handled the contracts and payments for that, and then, after finishing my master's in business, I moved to television distribution at NBC Universal; we licensed movies and TV shows from all over the world, I focused on Japan and Korea. Then I went to 20th Century Fox in the same position, I worked at Nakatomi Plaza, where the movie Die Hard, was my office building.
She had money, she had a job, she went to elegant parties, she had spirituality... and, despite everything, she felt empty. I don't know who I am anymore, she told her parents, who had moved to Sedona, Arizona, known as one of the New Age capitals of the US.
Today she believes that Buddhist spirituality, in fact, emptied her and at the same time filled her with herself. It's as if you become your own God, she explains. She says that, as she thinks today, the idea of being spiritual without religion makes no sense: any New Age practice, taken from wherever it is taken, is based on a worldview, a vision of man and the world and will have doctrine. And if one insists on an emptying, the moment comes when one approaches nihilism. Why do anything, if nothing is worth anything? As a businesswoman she went from campaign to campaign, to seek more money, but then what? And for what?
Looking for something in nature
In 2015 she told her boss that she would now work remotely, and she reluctantly agreed. She continued to receive her large salary, from Los Angeles, but moved to Sedona, near her parents. She wanted nature and beauty, and Sedona had a lot, with a landscape of very beautiful red rocks, and many New Age activities. Meditation, chakras... I felt very spiritual and did my business trips.
A year later, Jesus Christ intervened. I had a dream of Jesus, totally unexpected. It was very real. I instinctively knew Who He was. I woke up and thought, well, that's weird. Why would He come to me? I don't pray. I don't go to church. Clearly, He must have gotten lost, mistaken, she says on CHNetwork. In the other interview she calls it a mystical experience, without wanting to give more details.
The Serenity Prayer, but the complete version, with Jesus!
A week later, she went to a Buddhist retreat, which she loved, it reaffirmed her in her Buddhism. But a monk said: Do you know the Serenity Prayer? Many know the first part, but not the second. The monk insisted on reading the complete prayer, with its second part, and on recommending it. You have to look for it, it's beautiful.
The first part is well known because it is read at every Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, it is hung in homes and sometimes quoted in movies:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
But the second part is the one that mentions Jesus:
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as the pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.
The monk considered it a Catholic prayer. It seems that the author of the text is the North American Protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, probably in 1940. But Rae-Mi was struck by the mention of Jesus, a sinful world (no one had ever spoken to her about sin) and the idea of surrendering to His will. What was that? It also referred to God... and she had never considered herself an atheist, but she had never thought about God or his role in life either. She liked the text, she thought it was beautiful, useful for meditation.
Who wouldn't fall in love with Francis of Assisi?
Later, she read about a Buddhist nun who lived in a cave for 14 years. I thought it was magnificent, the best possible. But in the book she says that when she came out of the cave, she went to Assisi, and began to write about the nuns of Assisi and how amazing they were. I researched Assisi and, who do I meet? Saint Francis, of course, and you have to have a heart of stone not to fall in love with Francis. Then, of course, I fell in love with Saint Francis of Assisi.
Another day, listening to a recording of a well-known new age guru, she was astonished that he mentioned sin. Today I would not recommend that talk, but at that moment, for the first time, I heard someone talk about sin, and his conclusion was: 'if you want to get to God, you must not sin'. I had never thought about getting to God. And I thought, 'that sounds good'.
When those and more signs pointing to God, the saints and Catholicism accumulated, in January 2017, she decided that she had to visit a Catholic church. She had a good relationship with her parents but to talk about this she telephoned her grandmother, who said that she sometimes lit a candle in the church. The grandmother, truly moved, listened to her and said: Go, go now.
Buy a ticket to go to mass?
Like everyone these days, before going to the parish she reviewed its website in detail. It was not very up-to-date and only said we have the seven sacraments. It didn't seem attractive to her, she didn't even know what those sacraments were. Since then, she asks the parishes to have welcoming and attractive websites.
She telephoned the church asking about the mass. As she came from the world of theater and cinema, without knowing anything about parish matters, she asked: Do I need to buy a ticket? Will someone show me my seat? The secretary said: no, no, just come to the church.
When she arrived at mass, she sat in the back. I had no idea what was going on. I knelt and stood up when everyone else did. I don't remember anything that was said. It was like being in a foreign country. She was astonished to see that everyone drank from the same cup, and thought: there must be something good there. And everyone waited in silence while the priest, did he collect the table and wash the utensils? Then she approached the priest at the foot of the altar showing interest but he limited himself to saying keep coming to mass. He did not offer to talk, to be trained, a companion, etc...
Her father, when she told him about the mass and the cup, said: They believe that that is the True Body and Blood of Jesus. Rae-Mi thought that it could make sense! I don't know what's going on here, but I want to know, she understood.
She has discovered that people far from God, as she was, think that Jesus cannot come to meet them or be interested in them, because they 'are not from the parish'. She tells them something that Christians know, but other people don't: He goes to look for the lost and stray sheep. She tells Christians something else: You don't have to try to defend a lawsuit or make a sale, simply, talk about Whom you love, say 'I believe this, and Jesus is this for me'.
This is what I was always looking for
Rae-Mi decided to try another parish. She knew she needed someone to explain things to her. In that parish she heard the proclamation of the Sermon on the Mount. She had never heard it before. She was impressed. She thought: this is what I have been waiting to hear. It's what I was looking for. Why isn't everyone here? This is what everyone wants to hear!
Now every reading at mass amazed her. And the rituals of Holy Week, she went to everything: Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil. I remember Good Friday. They had the Church in the dark, and I was kneeling there, looking at the cross, and it was the first time I really understood that Jesus died for me. Everything has to change now. How can I not give Him everything now?
Everything sounded new and fascinating to her. She was scandalized that the rest of the parishioners and catechumens found it 'normal'. One day she came admiringly pointing to John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that he might have life. For her, it was a sensational discovery. But if that quote is painted and tattooed by soccer players, everyone knows it, they told her. A magnificent catechist, now her friend, accompanied her in her process.
A temptation: a six-figure salary in Los Angeles?
One day there was a temptation. Her boss at Fox telephoned her offering a six-figure salary and a management position but she would have to live in Los Angeles. She thought about it, she saw that that would take her away from her discovery of God.
- I have found something very special here, I love my life here and I can't move - she replied.
- I'm sorry for you, it's an incredible opportunity, many women approaching 40 would want this position...
But Rae-Mi felt that she had discovered a much greater treasure, and without difficulty she rejected it to devote herself to her learning of the faith and knowledge of Jesus.
First confession of her life
She also remembers her first confession, with a long list of sins from 38 years of life (I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget, but in code, in case someone tracked my note). When she received absolution, she understood that her past identity had stuck to all those things. I was freed from something that I didn't even know was oppressing me. And that was an incredible moment. To this day, I love confession. I love it. It's the most incredible gift our Lord gave us, and I go at least once a month.
As she was already baptized, she only needed to be received through Confirmation. She did it on December 17, 2017. Due to scheduling issues, it was at a mass in Spanish; I don't speak Spanish at all, but the Confirmation part was in English. They gave us the texts to proclaim, and I proclaimed them with fervor. The priest anointed me with a lot of oil, it dripped everywhere, and I just loved it. I never wanted to wash it off.
Graduated and evangelist
Later she studied a degree in Theology at Franciscan University of Steubenville (often considered the most Catholic university in the world). And she returned to Sedona, where she works in the parish of San Juan Vianney and in the Chapel of the Holy Cross, a peculiar place, in an impressive natural setting, visited by many tourists and curious people from the New Age world. There they find adoration, confession and a careful mass on Wednesdays and Fridays, and on other occasions, weddings. The curious ask questions and see their first mass, people who would not enter a parish.
Catholicism is really beautiful. Is this what you do? say some who, like Rae-Mi, knew nothing or almost nothing.
Today Rae-Mi's passion is to spread this love that she has found in the Church and in Christ. She says to many: Hey, I know what you want, I know what you're looking for. Let me introduce you to Him.
ReL