Forgive and forget small offenses

 


 


In dealing with others, at work, in social relations, in everyday life, friction is almost inevitable. It is also possible that someone offends us, that they behave towards us in an unnoble way, that they harm us. And this, perhaps, in a somewhat habitual way. Up to seven times must I forgive? In other words, must I always forgive? This is the question Peter proposes to our Lord in today's Gospel. It is also our prayer theme: do we know how to forgive on all occasions, do we do it promptly?

We know the Lord's answer to Peter, and to us: I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. That is, always. The Lord asks those who follow him, you and me, for a posture of unlimited forgiveness and apology. To his own, the Lord asks for a big heart. He wants us to imitate him. The omnipotence of God," says St. Thomas, "is manifested above all in the fact that he forgives and uses mercy, because God's way of demonstrating his supreme power is to forgive freely... "2 and therefore to us "nothing resembles God as much as being always ready to forgive.

"Far from our conduct, therefore, is the remembrance of the offenses that have been done to us, of the humiliations that we have suffered - however unjust, uncivil and coarse they may have been - because it is unbecoming of a child of God to have a record ready, to present a list of offenses. Even if my neighbor does not improve, even if he falls back again and again on the same offense or on that which bothers me, I must renounce all rancor. My inner self must be kept healthy and clean of all enmity.

Our forgiveness must be sincere, from the heart, as God forgives us: Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, we say every day in the Lord's Prayer. Forgive us quickly, without letting rancour or separation corrode our hearts even for a moment. Without humiliating the other party, without adopting theatrical gestures or dramatizing. Most of the time, in ordinary life together, it will not even be necessary to say "I forgive you": it will be enough to smile, to return the conversation, to have a kind gesture; to excuse, in short.

It is not necessary that we suffer great insults to exercise this show of charity. Those little things that happen every day are enough: quarrels at home over unimportant matters, bad replies or intemperate gestures often caused by people's fatigue, which take place at work, in the traffic of big cities, on public transportation...

We would live our Christian life badly if at the slightest touch our charity were to grow cold and we felt separated from others, or we were to be in a bad mood. Or if a serious injury made us forget the presence of God and our soul lost its peace and joy. Or if we are susceptible. We have to make an examination to see how our reactions are to the discomfort that living together sometimes brings with it. To follow the Lord closely is to find here too, in small setbacks and serious offenses, a path to holiness.


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