***Meeting with the Magdalene on the Lake and Lesson to the Disciples Near Tiberias***
*Jesus and all His own—they are now thirteen plus Him—are, seven in each boat, on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus goes in Peter's boat, the first one, along with Peter, Andrew, Simon, Joseph, and the two cousins. In the other boat are the two sons of Zebedee with the rest, namely, Judas Iscariot, Philip, Thomas, Nathanael, and Matthew.*
*The boats advance under sail, light, driven by a fresh northerly wind that barely ruffles the water in many small folds very lightly marked by a line of foam that draws a tulle over the turquoise blue of the beautiful, serene lake. They move forward, leaving behind two wakes that kiss at their base, merging their joyful foam into a single laugh of waters, because they sail almost abreast (Peter's boat barely two meters ahead).*
*From boat to boat, a few meters from each other, there is an exchange of words and comments that make me think the Galileans are illustrating and explaining to the Judeans the spots along the lake, with its trade, with the prominent figures who reside there, the distances from the place of departure and arrival, namely, Capernaum and Tiberias. The boats are not fishing; they are prepared only for transporting people.*
*Jesus is sitting at the bow. It is clearly seen that He enjoys the surrounding beauty, the silence, all that pure blue of sky and waters ringed by green shores, dotted with completely white villages amid the greenery. He detaches Himself from what the disciples are saying, far forward in the bow, almost lying on a bundle of sails, with His head frequently inclined toward that sapphire mirror that is the lake, as if He were studying the bottom and taking an interest in whatever lives in those crystal-clear waters. But who knows what He might be thinking about?...*
*Peter asks Him twice to find out if the sun is bothering Him (which, having already risen completely from the East, hits the boat full on with its beam, not yet scorching but warm); another time he asks Him if He wants bread and cheese like the rest. Jesus wants nothing, neither canopy nor bread; and Peter leaves Him in peace.*
*A small group of pleasure boats, almost rowboats but with a great exuberance of purple canopies and soft cushions, cuts transversely across the path of the fishermen's boats. Music, laughter, and perfumes pass with them.*
*They are filled with beautiful women and Roman and Palestinian rakes, though mostly Romans, or at least not Palestinians, because someone must be Greek; at least so I deduce from the words of a slender, tall, dark young man, dark as an almost ripe olive, all dapperly dressed in a short red garment, bordered at the bottom by a heavy fret pattern and fastened at the waist by a belt that is a masterpiece of goldsmithing:*
*“Hellas is beautiful! But not even my Olympian homeland has this blue and these flowers. Truly it is no wonder that the goddesses have abandoned it to come here. Let us scatter upon the goddesses—no longer Greek but Jewish—the flowers, the roses, the gifts...” and he scatters petals of splendid roses over the women in his boat and throws others into the boat alongside.*
*A Roman replies:*
*“Scatter, scatter, Greek! For Venus is with me. I do not scatter; I pick the roses from this beautiful mouth; it is sweeter”—and he leans down to kiss, on the mouth open in laughter, Mary of Magdala, half-reclining on the cushions with her blonde head resting on the Roman's lap.*
*At this moment, the large boats are literally right upon the small boats, and they almost collide, either due to the rowers' lack of skill or the play of the wind.*
*“Be careful if you want to go on living!” shouts Peter, enraged, as he veers, giving a push with his pole to avoid the collision. Insults from the men and screams of fright from the women pass from boat to boat.*
*The Romans insult the Galileans, saying:*
*“Get out of the way, Jewish dogs!”*
*For Peter and the other Galileans the insult does not fall on deaf ears, and Peter especially, red as a rooster, standing tall on the edge of the boat that pitches heavily, with his hands on his hips, responds harshly to Romans, Greeks, Hebrews, and Hebrew women; indeed, to the latter he dedicates a whole collection of honorific titles that I leave unwritten.*
*The argument lasts until the tangle of keels and oars has dissolved and each goes their own way.*
*Jesus throughout all this time has not changed His position. He has remained seated, absent, without a glance, without a word toward the boats or their occupants. Leaning on an elbow, He has kept looking at the distant shore as if nothing were happening. Someone even throws a flower at Him; I don't know who; clearly a woman, because I hear a feminine giggle accompany the act. But He... nothing. The flower almost hits His face and falls on the planks, ending up under the feet of the enraged Peter.*
*When the small boats are about to move away, I see the Magdalene stand up and follow the direction pointed out to her by a companion in vice; that is, she aims her splendid eyes toward the serene and distant face of Jesus. How distant from the world is this face!...*
*“Tell me, Simon,” asks Judas Iscariot. “Answer, you who are a Judean like me. Isn't that gorgeous blonde who was in the Roman's lap, the one who stood up a moment ago, the sister of Lazarus of Bethany?”*
*“I know nothing,” answers Simon the Zealot dryly. “I returned to the world of the living only recently, and that woman is young...”*
*“I suppose you're not going to tell me you don't know Lazarus of Bethany! I know perfectly well that you are his friend and that you have been at his house with the Master.”*
*“And if that were so?”*
*“Since it is so, I say, you must also know the sinner who is Lazarus' sister. Even the tombs know her! For ten years she has been the talk of the town. As soon as she reached puberty, she began to be loose. But for more than four years now!... It is impossible for you to be ignorant of the scandal, even if you were in the 'valley of the dead.' All Jerusalem spoke of it. Lazarus then shut himself up in Bethany. Well, he did right. No one would have set foot again in his splendid palace on Zion where she walked. I mean: no one who was holy. In the towns... You know how it is!... And besides, now she is everywhere except at home... Now she is certainly in Magdala... She must be involved in some new love affair... Don't you answer? Can you tell me it isn't true?”*
*“I do not refute. I remain silent.”*
*“Then it is her? You recognized her too!”*
*“I saw her then, when she was a child and pure. Now I see her again... Nevertheless, I recognize her. Impudently she reproduces the image of her mother, a saint.”*
*“And then, why did you almost deny that she was your friend's sister?”*
*“Especially if we are honest, we try to keep hidden our sores and those of the ones we love.”*
*Judas laughs forcedly.*
*“That's how it is, Simon. And you are an honest person,” observes Peter.*
*“Did you recognize her? You certainly go to Magdala to sell your fish. Who knows how many times you must have seen her!...”*
*“Lad, you should know that when one's back is tired from honest work, women do not tempt; one desires only the honest bed of one's wife.”*
*“Oh sure! But everyone likes good merchandise; at least one looks, even if only that.”*
*“What for? To say: 'That is not food for your table'? No, look: from the lake and the trade I have learned several things, and one of them is this: that a freshwater, bottom-dwelling fish is not made for salty water and a swirling current.”*
*“What do you mean?”*
*“I mean that everyone should stay in their place, so as not to die a bad death.”*
*“Would the Magdalene make you die?”*
*“No. I have thick skin. But... tell me: are you feeling unwell?”*
*“Me?... I haven't even looked at her!...”*
*“Liar! I'd bet something that you were eating your heart out for not being in this first boat and having her closer... You would have even tolerated me just to be closer... What I say is so true that you honor me with your speech, by her grace, after so many days of silence.”*
*“Me? Why, she wouldn't have even seen me! She was looking at the Master continuously!”*
*“Ha, ha, ha! And he says he wasn't looking at her! How could you see where she was looking if you weren't looking at her?”*
*Everyone laughs at Peter's observation, except Judas, Jesus, and the Zealot.*
*Jesus puts an end to the discussion—which He has pretended not to hear—asking Peter: “Is that Tiberias?”*
*“Yes, Master; now I am making the approach maneuver.”*
*“Wait. Can you pull into that quiet cove of water? I would like to speak only to you.”*
*“I'll measure the depth and tell you,” Peter inserts a long pole and goes slowly toward the bank. “It's possible, Master. Shall I get even closer to the shore?”*
*“As close as you can. There is shade and solitude. I like it.”*
*Peter goes almost until touching the shore. The land is at a distance of about fifteen meters at most.*
*“Now it would touch.”*
*“Stop. And you others come as close as possible and listen.”*
*Jesus leaves His place and comes to sit in the center of the boat, on a bench that stretches from side to side; opposite Him is the other boat, and around Him are the others of His own.*
*“Listen. It will seem to you that from time to time I abstract Myself from your conversations and that, therefore, I am a negligent master who is not paying attention to his own group of disciples. Know that My soul does not leave you for a moment. Have you ever seen a physician studying a patient suffering from an illness that is still uncertain and presenting symptoms that do not match? He does not lose sight of him; after examining him, he keeps him under observation, both during sleep and during wakefulness, morning and evening, when he is silent and when he speaks, because everything can be a symptom and a guide to decipher the hidden disease and to indicate a therapy. I do the same with you. I have you bound with invisible but most sensitive threads that are grafted into Me and transmit to Me even the slightest vibrations of your self. I let you think you are free, so that you manifest yourselves more and more according to what you are, which happens when a schoolboy, or a maniac, thinks he is no longer being watched by the one observing him.*
*You are a group of people, but you form a core, that is, a single thing. Therefore, you are a complex whole that is formed as an entity, and which must be studied in its individual characteristics, better or worse, to shape it, blend it, remove its sharp edges, enrich its polyhedral sides, and make of it a single perfect thing. Therefore, I study you; you are objects of study to Me even when you sleep.*
*What are you? What must you become? You are the salt of the earth; as such you must become: the salt of the earth. With salt, meat is preserved from corruption, and not only meat, but many other foods. But could salt season if it were not salty? I want to salt the world with you, to season it with heavenly flavor. But how can you season if you lose My flavor?*
*What makes you lose heavenly flavor? What is human. Sea water, real sea water, is not good to drink because of how salty it is, isn't that true? And yet, if someone takes a cup of sea water and pours it into a jar of fresh water, he can drink it, because the sea water is so diluted that it has lost its harshness. Humanity is like the fresh water that mixes with your heavenly saltiness. Even more; assuming a river could be diverted from the sea and introduced into the water of this lake, could you ever find that thread of salty water again? No. It would have been lost among so much fresh water. This happens with you when you sink your mission, or rather, submerge it, in too much humanity.*
*You are men. Yes. I know. But who am I? I am He who has all strength with Him. And what do I do? I communicate this strength to you, since I have called you. But what good is it for Me to communicate it to you if you scatter it under avalanches of human senses and feelings?*
*You are, you must be, the light of the world. I have chosen you: I, Light of God, among men, to continue enlightening the world once I have returned to the Father. But can you enlighten if you are nothing more than put-out or smoking lamps? No. Indeed, with your smoke—lingering smoke is worse than the absolute death of a wick—you would darken that trace of light that hearts might still have. Oh, wretched are those who, seeking God, turn to the apostles and obtain smoke instead of light! They will derive scandal and death from it. Now then, unworthy apostles will receive curse and punishment.*
*You have been called to great things, but at the same time you have a great, tremendous commitment! Remember that he to whom more is given is more obliged to give. And to you the maximum is given, in instruction and in gift. You are instructed by Me, Word of God, and you receive from God the gift of being 'the disciples,' that is, the continuators of the Son of God. I would like this choice of yours to always be the subject of your meditation, and for you to continue examining and weighing yourselves... and if one feels he is fit to be faithful—I don't even want to say: 'if one feels himself to be nothing more than a sinner and impenitent'; I say only: 'if one feels fit to be merely a faithful believer'—but does not feel in himself the nerve of an apostle, let him withdraw.*
*The world, for its lovers, is very vast, beautiful, sufficient, varied. It offers all the flowers and all the fruits suitable for the belly and the senses. I offer only one thing: holiness. This, on earth, is the narrowest, poorest, steepest, most thorny, and most persecuted thing there is. In Heaven its narrowness becomes immensity; its poverty, wealth; its thorniness, a flowery carpet; its roughness, a smooth and gentle path; its persecution, peace and beatitude. But here, being holy requires a heroic effort. I offer you nothing more than this.*
*Do you want to remain with Me? Do you not feel capable of doing so? Oh, do not look at each other astonished or grieved! Many times more you will hear Me ask this question. When you hear it, think that My heart weeps as I ask it, because it feels wounded by your deafness to the vocation. Examine yourselves, then, and then judge with honesty and sincerity, and decide. Decide so as not to be reprobates. Say: 'Master, friends, I realize that I am not made for this path. I give you a farewell kiss and say to you: pray for me.' This is better than betraying. Better this...*
*What do you say? Betray whom? Whom? Me. My cause, that is, the cause of God, because I am one with the Father, and you. Yes. You would betray yourselves. You would betray your soul, giving it to Satan. Do you want to remain Hebrews? Well, I do not force you to change. But do not betray. Do not betray your soul, the Christ, and God. I swear to you that neither I nor My faithful will criticize you, nor will they point their finger at you for the contempt of the faithful crowds. A little while ago a brother of yours said a great word: 'Our sores and those of the ones we love, one tries to keep hidden.' Well then, whoever separates himself would be a sore, a gangrene that, born in our apostolic organism, would detach itself by complete necrosis, leaving a painful mark that we would keep hidden with all care.*
*No. Do not weep, you who are the best, do not weep. I hold no grudge against you, nor am I intransigent for seeing you so slow. I have just taken you, and I cannot expect you to be perfect. But I won't even expect it in a few years, after saying the same things in vain a hundred and two hundred times... Furthermore, listen: after a few years, you will be, at least some of you, less ardent than now when you are neophytes. Life is like that... humanity is like that... It loses momentum after the initial start. But—Jesus gets up abruptly—I swear to you that I will overcome. Purified by natural selection, strengthened by a supernatural mixture, you, the best, will be My heroes, the heroes of the Christ, the heroes of Heaven. The power of the Caesars will be dust compared to the royalty of your priesthood. You, poor fishermen of Galilee, you, unknown Jews, you, numbers among the mass of men present, will be better known, acclaimed, and venerated than Caesar, and than all the Caesars that the earth has had and will have. You known, you blessed in a near future and in the most distant of centuries, unto the end of the world.*
*For this sublime destiny I choose you, you who are honest in will, and so that you may be capable of it, I give you the essential lines of your character as apostles.*
*Always be watchful and prepared. Let your loins be girded, always girded, and your lamps burning, as is fitting for those who from one moment to another must depart or go out to meet one who arrives. And the truth is that you are, you will be, until death stops you, the tireless pilgrims who go in search of the wandering; and until death extinguishes it, your lamp must be held high and lit to show the way to the lost who are heading toward the fold of Christ.*
*You must be faithful to the Master who has placed you at the head for this service. That servant will be rewarded whom the Master finds always watchful and whom death surprises in a state of grace. You cannot, you must not say: 'I am young. I have time to do this or that and then think about the Master, about death, about my soul.' Both the young and the old die, the strong as well as the weak, and old and young, strong and weak, are equally subject to the assault of temptation.*
*Keep in mind that the soul can die before the body, and you can carry in your walking, without knowing it, a putrid soul. How imperceptible is the dying of a soul! Like the death of a flower: without a cry, without a convulsion... it merely leans its flame like a tired corolla and goes out. Afterward, long afterward sometimes, immediately afterward at other times, the body notices that it carries a worm-eaten corpse within, and it goes mad with fright, and kills itself to escape that union... Oh, it does not escape! It falls precisely with its worm-eaten soul upon a writhing of serpents in Gehenna.*
*Do not be dishonest like middlemen or shyster lawyers who take the side of two opposing clients; do not be false like petty politicians who call both this one and that one 'friend,' and then are enemies to both. Do not think of acting in two ways. No one mocks God. God is not deceived. Conduct yourselves with men as you conduct yourselves with God, because an offense committed against men is as if it had been committed against God. Desire to be seen by God as you desire to be seen by men.*
*Be humble. You cannot accuse your Master of not being so. I give you the example. Do as I do. Humble, gentle, patient. The world is conquered with this, not with violence and force. Be strong and violent against your vices, yes; tear them out by the roots, even at the cost of leaving torn pieces of your heart behind. A few days ago I told you to guard your glances, yet you do not know how to do it. I tell you: it would be better for you to go blind by tearing out your immoderate eyes than to end up being lustful.*
*Be sincere. I am Truth in lofty things and in human things. I desire that you too be authentic. Why resort to deceptions with Me, or with your brothers, or with your neighbor? Why play with deceit? So proud as you are, and you don't have the pride to say: 'I want no one to be able to consider me a liar'? And be authentic with God. Do you think you deceive Him with forms of long and showy prayers? Poor children! God sees the heart!*
*Do good chaste-like. I am referring also to almsgiving. A tax collector knew how to do it before his conversion. And are you not going to know how to do it? Yes, I praise you, Matthew, for the chaste weekly offering of which only I and the Father knew was yours. And I cite you as an example. This too is chastity, my friends. Not exposing your goodness, in the same way that you would not strip your teenage daughter before the eyes of a crowd. Be chaste when doing good. The good act is chaste when it is free from union with thoughts of praise and esteem, or free from pride.*
*Be faithful spouses to your vocation to God. You cannot serve two masters. The marital bed cannot accommodate two wives at the same time. God and Satan cannot share your loving embraces. Man cannot, nor can God or Satan, share a triple embrace in antithesis among the three who give it.*
*Keep yourselves away from hunger for gold, as from hunger for flesh; from hunger for flesh, as from hunger for power. Satan offers you this. Oh, his false riches! Honors, success, power, abundances: obscene markets whose currency is your soul.*
*Be content with little. God gives you what is necessary. That is enough. He guarantees this to you, in the same way that He guarantees it to the bird of the air, and you are worth much more than the birds. But God wants trust and moderation from you. If you have trust, He will not fail you: if you have moderation, His daily gift will be enough for you.*
*Do not be pagans while being, in name, of God. Pagans are those who, more than God, love gold and power in order to appear like demigods. Be holy, and you will be like God eternally.*
*Do not be intransigent. You are all sinners; therefore, desire to be with others as you would want others to be with you, that is, full of compassion and forgiveness.*
*Do not judge. Oh, do not judge! You see—even though you have been with Me for only a short time—how many times, being innocent, I have been unlawfully misjudged and accused of nonexistent sins. Bad judgment is an offense, and only true saints do not return offense for offense. Therefore, abstain from offending so as not to be offended. Thus you will not fail in charity, nor in holy, amiable, gentle humility, the enemy of Satan along with chastity.*
*Forgive, forgive always. Say: 'Forgive me, Father, so that You may forgive my infinite sins.'*
*Make yourselves better with every passing hour, with patience, with firmness, with heroism. Who can tell you that becoming good is not painful? Indeed, I tell you: it is the greatest among efforts. But the reward is in Heaven; therefore, it is worth consuming oneself in this effort.*
*And love. Oh! What word should I say to lead you to love? There is none adequate to convert you to it, oh poor men whom Satan incites! So, here is what I say: 'Father, hasten the hour of the cleansing bath. This earth is dry. This flock of Yours is sick. But there is a dew that can quench the aridity and cleanse. Open, open its fountain. Open Me, open Me. Father, I burn to do Your will, which is Mine and that of the Eternal Love. Father! Father! Father! Turn Your gaze upon Your Lamb and be You its Sacrificer.'*
*Jesus appears truly inspired. Standing tall, with His arms extended in a cross, His face toward the sky, with the blue of the lake behind Him, in His linen robe, He looks like a praying archangel.*
*The vision fades from me at the moment of this act of His.*