To attract me to him, Jesus used only love. And the tenderness of his love was repeated at the foot of the tabernacle, as if I were chained to the little door of the tabernacle and, above all, when I could contemplate him in the monstrance in the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. Then the hours seemed like minutes with my gaze fixed on the host.
From 1918 onwards, communions were daily. Also in those moments Jesus conquered my heart with sensitive sweetness, which lasted until the host was consummated. That is why, until I was 21 years old, I used to keep the host glued to the roof of my mouth so that it would last longer. In those moments I felt enveloped in a light of love. I could not live without communion. And it was she and she alone who kept me from committing serious faults. In those years, from the taste I felt at communion, I could have distinguished the consecrated host from the unconsecrated.
On April 22, 1934, Jesus was solemnly exposed and told me: "Consolata, I confirm you in grace regarding your purity and I will never let you fall into that sin..... I leave the struggle for purity to you, because I do not want to deprive you of many merits".
Our Lady advised me never to expose myself to any danger; and I bound myself with a vow to be faithful. Therefore, when the rebellion of the senses was strong, the only means I had and still have is trust and abandonment in Jesus and Mary.
On the afternoon of August 24, 1936, I entered the parish a little late for the blessing of the Blessed Sacrament. I took a place in a pew next to a side chapel. I looked at the host exposed in the monstrance and felt enveloped by the real presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. From that day on, the real presence of Jesus was no longer a mystery of faith for me. I felt him in the monstrance and enjoyed him in communion, where he attracted me with tenderness of love. And that continued as long as I was a religious.
One day during communion, I saw, I sensed that Jesus was kissing me in my heart. I cannot express how I felt it. That kiss showed me his thirst for love and purity of divine life.
How many kisses I have received from the divine Child. How many times from the cradle, with his little hand, he drew me to his Heart. One day I longed for his divine and childlike tenderness and I asked Our Lady: "Mother, give me the Child Jesus". And Our Lady appeared to me, holding Jesus on her lap. Mary said to me: "Come, Consolata". With one hand she held Jesus and with the other she drew me to herself and kissed me on the forehead. I approached Jesus and gave him a shy kiss on his divine forehead.
Jesus was happy to reveal some of his secrets to me. When Jesus entered my cell from the picture of the Heart of Jesus, he welcomed me with a smile. I found Jesus there and felt him more in the cell than in the choir. And when we didn't know what to say to each other, we both laughed. My life was a smile, not only in the cell, but also when we were in the choir or in the dining room or in the garden or in the cloisters or looking at the blue sky. Jesus' smile enveloped me, he smiled at me and I smiled at him.
In the solitude of my room I would say my prayers and for a long time I would be absorbed in contemplating the face of the image of the Heart of Jesus. I do not know, but from the picture, Jesus took different aspects according to the conditions of my soul. Sometimes it was a silent reprimand, other times of encouragement; or of peace, which pacified my troubled or guilty soul. When my conscience was calm, the divine gaze was so penetrating and sweet that I felt the need to rest my head on his Heart, as if I were alive, and I remained there for a long time. In her gaze I felt an immense love for me, a love full of tenderness....
Every year, on the feast of her Immaculate Conception, Our Lady used to give me a gift. In 1934, she asked me what I wanted. I did not know how to answer her, because I had no desires. She then said to me: "Consolata, I give you the grace of having a holy death. I did not expect such a great grace. Another day she said to me: "I give you the love I have for souls.
And she added: "Consolata, you think only of loving. If you only knew the value of an act of love and how fruitful it is for the salvation of souls! Do not be afraid, you will always live under my mantle. We will save many, many souls and then we will enjoy God eternally.