Having finished his prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Lord rose from the ground and once again awakened his disciples, who were drowsy with weariness and sadness. Rise, let us go," he said to them; "the one who is to betray me is coming. He was still speaking, when Judas, one of the twelve, arrived, accompanied by a large crowd with swords and sticks1 .
The betrayal is consummated with a token of friendship: He came to Jesus and said, Hail, Rabbi, and kissed him.2 It seems impossible to us that a man who has known Christ so well could be capable of betraying him. What happened in the soul of Judas? Because he was present at many miracles and knew first hand the goodness of the Lord's heart for all, and was attracted by his word and, above all, experienced the predilection of Jesus becoming one of the most intimate of the Twelve. He was chosen and called to be an Apostle by the Lord himself. After the Ascension, when it was necessary to fill his vacancy, Peter will remember that he was counted among us, having had a part in our ministry3. He was also sent to preach, and he would see the copious fruit of his apostleship; perhaps he worked miracles like the others. And he would hold intimate and personal dialogues with the Master, like the rest of the Apostles. What has happened in his soul that he should now betray the Lord for thirty pieces of silver?
Tonight's betrayal must have had a long history. From long before, he was already distant from Christ, even though he was in his company. He remained outwardly normal, but his spirit was far away. The break with the Master, the cracking of his faith and his vocation, must have occurred little by little, each time yielding more and more important things. There is a moment in which he protests because he finds the details of affection that others have for the Lord "excessive", and he disguises his protest as "love for the poor". But St. John tells us the real reason: he was a thief and, since he had the bag, he took what was put in it4.
He allowed his love for the Lord to grow cold, and now it remained only a mere external following, in the face of others. His life of loving dedication to God became a farce; more than once he would have considered that it would have been better not to have followed the Lord.
Now he no longer remembers the miracles, the healings, his happy moments with the Master, his friendship with the rest of the Apostles. Now he is a disoriented man, off-center, capable of committing the madness he has just done. The act that is now consummated has already been preceded by ever greater infidelity and lack of loyalty. This is the ultimate result of a long inner process.
By contrast, perseverance is the daily fidelity in small things; it is based on the humility of starting over again when, due to fragility, there has been a setback. "A house does not collapse because of a momentary impulse. More often than not it is because of an old construction defect. Sometimes it is the prolonged neglect of its inhabitants that causes the penetration of water. At first it infiltrates drop by drop and insensibly eats away at the woodwork and rots the frame. Over time, the small hole takes on greater proportions, causing cracks and considerable collapse. In the end, the rain penetrates in torrents "5.
To persevere in one's vocation is to respond to the successive calls that the Lord makes in the course of a lifetime, even if there is no lack of obstacles and difficulties and, at times, isolated errors, cowardice and defeats.
As we contemplate these scenes of the Passion, we examine our fidelity in small ways to our vocation: does it insinuate itself in some aspect as a double life? Am I faithful to the duties of my state? Do I take care to have a sincere relationship with the Lord? Do I avoid gentrification and attachment to material goods - to the "thirty pieces of silver"?
Hablar con Dios